Writing observation notes a parent can read

An observation note will be read by people who weren't in the room. Your co-teacher reads it when planning lessons. A parent reads it at conferences, or in the child's record, and reads every word closely. A note that says "was lazy during work time" gives the parent your opinion of their child. You can find the judgment words in your own notes in one read-through and rewrite each one as a description of what the child did.

Find the words that judge

Read through last week's notes with a pen. Circle any word that tells the reader how to feel about the child, or that you couldn't photograph. Common ones show up on the negative and the positive side:

• lazy, defiant, rude, clingy, bossy, wild, shy, distracted, difficult
• great job, amazing, so smart, a natural, sweet, a joy, a leader
• had a good day, had a bad day, struggled, did well

Praise words cause trouble too. "So smart with the math materials" gives a parent a label. It doesn't say what their child can do, and it can't be compared with next month's note. Two guides might write "struggled" about very different mornings.

A quick test for each circled word: could a person standing in the classroom agree it happened, just by watching? "Walked to the window four times" passes. "Was restless" doesn't.

Rewrite as what the child did

For each circled word, ask yourself what you actually saw that made you write it. Write that instead. Use verbs, numbers, times and names of materials.

Before: "Lazy during the work cycle." After: "Between 9:00 and 10:15, walked the room and watched three other children work. Took out the cylinder blocks at 10:15 and worked with them for eight minutes."

Before: "Great job with the pink tower!" After: "Built the pink tower from largest to smallest without help. Rebuilt it twice. Carried each cube back to the shelf one at a time."

Before: "Defiant at clean-up." After: "When asked to return the puzzle map, said 'No' and walked to the reading corner. Returned the map after lunch when the assistant walked over with them."

Before: "Clingy at drop-off." After: "Held her father's hand at the door for about five minutes. Came in with the assistant and stood at the snack table for ten minutes before choosing work."

Before: "Struggled with the moveable alphabet." After: "Built 'cat' and 'map.' Reached for a 'd' when building 'bed' and then switched to 'b.' Put the box away after three words."

The rewritten notes are longer. They also give you something to plan from. The "lazy" child spent an hour watching, which might mean the child doesn't know what to choose yet, or that a lesson is needed. The moveable alphabet note shows exactly which letter is confusing.

Keep your thinking on its own line

You'll still have opinions about what a note means. Write them down, because they're useful to you and your team. Keep them separate from the description, marked so anyone reading can tell the difference.

One simple format:

Observed: Chose the bead chains for the first time. Counted the 5-chain to 23 and then started over at 1. Worked for 20 minutes. Guide's note: May be ready for a lesson on counting by fives.

When a parent reads this, they see what their child did and what you plan to do about it. If you're asked about your thinking at a conference, you can point to the observed line underneath it.

Phrases to use instead

Keep a short list near your clipboard of plain phrases that describe without judging.

• "Chose" instead of "decided to finally try"
• "Worked with ___ for ___ minutes" instead of "concentrated well"
• "Watched ___" instead of "did nothing"
• "Said ___" (in quotation marks) instead of "was rude"
• "Asked for help with ___" instead of "couldn't do it"
• "Returned the work to the shelf" instead of "was responsible"
• "Did not ___ during this observation" instead of "never does ___"

The last one matters in notes a parent will read. "Never" turns one morning into a description of the child. "Did not during this observation" keeps it to the ten minutes you watched.

A five-minute editing pass

Before a note goes into a child's record or a conference summary, read it once more with these four questions:

1. Is there a word I couldn't see happen? Rewrite it as an action.
2. Is there a time, number or material name? Add one if not.
3. Is my opinion on its own line? Move it if not.
4. Would I be comfortable reading this aloud to the child's parent? If not, look at the words that make you uncomfortable first.

Try it on three notes this week. Pick ones you wrote quickly. You'll start catching the circled words as you write them, and the editing pass gets faster.